After running Hot Flash Inferno parties for the past eight years, there are certain things I’ve learned to expect at the parties. A room full of women intent on socializing brings about a joyousness rarely encountered at other events. I expect to see laughter, flirtatiousness, high energy and, of course, lots of dancing. Parties infuse our community with light.
Every once in a while, however, someone engages me in conversation and reminds me of one of the greater reasons that our parties exist: to provide a safe place for women looking for an affirming social network. This happened at the October 15 Seattle HF Inferno.
As I was tearing down the front desk and getting ready to leave the dance, a willowy blonde woman and her partner approached me asking if I was the founder of Inferno. When I answered affirmatively, the blonde thanked me for ‘changing her life’ and told me her story:
“I came out when I was 48. I didn’t know anyone who was lesbian. I didn’t know where to go or how to meet women. If I did meet women, I had no idea what to say or how to act. I was frozen with uncertainty but I knew I had to move forward with a new life. I searched the web and found Hot Flash Dances.
I think what convinced me to attend my first party was looking at the pictures of women at the parties. Everyone looked happy!
After a month or two of procrastination, the whole time following the website just to feel a sense of connection to my new community, I finally attended a Hot Flash Inferno.
Even though I had just about memorized every face in every picture online and even though I was expecting a friendly environment, I wasn’t prepared for the emotional rush I got at my first lesbian event. The women at the front door were welcoming and made me feel like I already belonged. With a little nudge from them, I stood in line at the bar waiting to be served. The women in front of me started a conversation and I was on my way. They took me over to their friends and introduced me to everyone and the next thing I knew, I was on the floor dancing with a new found freedom! . . .
. . . and then, from across the room, I saw HER. She came over, asked me to dance and the rest is history. Hot Flash changed my life and sent me joyously dancing into my next incarnation. My next 48 years will be lived as a happy, proud lesbian.”
