HOT FLASH FLASHBACK MEMORY by Liz
My fondest memory of a Hot Flash dance was just over two years ago. I'd recently relocated to Portland from the east coast; was newly single after the sad end to an eight-year relationship; was working at a new job & living in a new city where I knew only my landlor and boss.
Though I'd been enjoying my new city, at 40 I felt older than I ever had back home. The bars and events I'd been to were clearly geared towards a younger crowd, and though I'd found Portlanders to be generally kind, friendly and tolerant, I began to think I was too old for Portland.
Then one Friday afternoon a coworker who had thankfully "read" me, took the chance and went out of her own comfort zone to invite me to join her and her partner at a Hot Flash dance. "A hot flash dance?", I asked. I envisioned a support-group type event for women going through "the change" and wondered once again why I hadn't realized that 40 was the new 60 out here, and thought I should probably start thinking about getting more cats in order to move forward with my lonely crazy cat lady future.
"It's a super fun event for women over 30 who love women", says my coworker. Again I thought about a circle of chairs in someone's basement or a community center meeting space, complete with drip coffee and stale cookies.
"It goes from 1800-2200". Ugh, this wasn't sounding any better; a dance event from 1800-2200??? Though I certainly appreciated the invite, I was having a hard time weighing attendance at this event as opposed to another evening of watching Law & Order reruns.
"There's a great DJ and a large dance floor". Whoa, a DJ? A large dance floor?
"Is it in, like, a real club?", I cautiously ask.
"Yes, of course it is!", says she. "Lots of women attend. The music is great and its always a good time".
Well, this was certainly starting to sound better. I gladly accepted and confirmed I would meet them at Baracuda the next afternoon.
When I chatted with friends from back home that night and mentioned to them I was going to a "Hot Flash Dance" that began at six in the afternoon, they laughed and had the same initial impression I'd had.
Wow, was I excited to report back to them the following Sunday! We don't have anything like this back home and they would be justifiably envious when I told them about how awesome this event is.
When I arrived at the bar that first Saturday, I was giddy at realizing I was standing in line with a group of beautiful, vibrant women who appeared to be in my age group. When I made it into the club I was thrilled at the size and comfort of the venue, super stoked about the music which was playing and absolutely thrilled to look out onto a dance floor crowded with shimmying female bodies in all shapes and sizes, and at all ages.
Where were all these women when they weren't at Hot Flash?! My suspicions of being the only 40 yr old lesbo in town were thwarted!
I met up with my coworker and met her wonderful partner and some of their friends. The next few hours were the best I'd had since moving here, and still some of the best I've had to date.
That evening I laughed, danced for hours and was blissfully lost in the zen-like comfort of being surrounded by the positive energy of a group of women enjoying "the moment" together. There is something so very special about the ebb and flow of pure female energy; it creates an almost tangible force of nature and love and beauty and honesty and nurturing which drowns out everything except the pure joy of community. I found the Hot Flash dance floor to be over-flowing with this essence, and I felt so very much at home. To see women not only in my age group, but older, much older, dancing and laughing and sharing was the most beautiful sight I'd seen in a long time. I was warmed to the core with pleasure and delight over the reality that this event made it possible for all of us to go out and enjoy an evening of music and dancing in a safe and comfortable, and fun environment where all of our wrinkles and sags are celebrated for the beautiful history they are. Though I'd initially had reservations about an event for women "over" any age, I now completely understood the premise and was immensely thankful for its existence. I do not discount the love and energy of my younger sisters, we are all goddesses in our own right, but nor can I deny the enchanting alchemy of older women. We truly are like good wine...getting better with time.
When I left there that night I'd not only laid the foundation for a lasting bond with my coworker and her family, I decided I could live and thrive here in Portland; I knew that I would love again and I knew I would come back to enjoy many more Hot Flash dances!
And, alas, I have :)
My fondest memory of a Hot Flash dance was just over two years ago. I'd recently relocated to Portland from the east coast; was newly single after the sad end to an eight-year relationship; was working at a new job & living in a new city where I knew only my landlor and boss.
Though I'd been enjoying my new city, at 40 I felt older than I ever had back home. The bars and events I'd been to were clearly geared towards a younger crowd, and though I'd found Portlanders to be generally kind, friendly and tolerant, I began to think I was too old for Portland.
Then one Friday afternoon a coworker who had thankfully "read" me, took the chance and went out of her own comfort zone to invite me to join her and her partner at a Hot Flash dance. "A hot flash dance?", I asked. I envisioned a support-group type event for women going through "the change" and wondered once again why I hadn't realized that 40 was the new 60 out here, and thought I should probably start thinking about getting more cats in order to move forward with my lonely crazy cat lady future.
"It's a super fun event for women over 30 who love women", says my coworker. Again I thought about a circle of chairs in someone's basement or a community center meeting space, complete with drip coffee and stale cookies.
"It goes from 1800-2200". Ugh, this wasn't sounding any better; a dance event from 1800-2200??? Though I certainly appreciated the invite, I was having a hard time weighing attendance at this event as opposed to another evening of watching Law & Order reruns.
"There's a great DJ and a large dance floor". Whoa, a DJ? A large dance floor?
"Is it in, like, a real club?", I cautiously ask.
"Yes, of course it is!", says she. "Lots of women attend. The music is great and its always a good time".
Well, this was certainly starting to sound better. I gladly accepted and confirmed I would meet them at Baracuda the next afternoon.
When I chatted with friends from back home that night and mentioned to them I was going to a "Hot Flash Dance" that began at six in the afternoon, they laughed and had the same initial impression I'd had.
Wow, was I excited to report back to them the following Sunday! We don't have anything like this back home and they would be justifiably envious when I told them about how awesome this event is.
When I arrived at the bar that first Saturday, I was giddy at realizing I was standing in line with a group of beautiful, vibrant women who appeared to be in my age group. When I made it into the club I was thrilled at the size and comfort of the venue, super stoked about the music which was playing and absolutely thrilled to look out onto a dance floor crowded with shimmying female bodies in all shapes and sizes, and at all ages.
Where were all these women when they weren't at Hot Flash?! My suspicions of being the only 40 yr old lesbo in town were thwarted!
I met up with my coworker and met her wonderful partner and some of their friends. The next few hours were the best I'd had since moving here, and still some of the best I've had to date.
That evening I laughed, danced for hours and was blissfully lost in the zen-like comfort of being surrounded by the positive energy of a group of women enjoying "the moment" together. There is something so very special about the ebb and flow of pure female energy; it creates an almost tangible force of nature and love and beauty and honesty and nurturing which drowns out everything except the pure joy of community. I found the Hot Flash dance floor to be over-flowing with this essence, and I felt so very much at home. To see women not only in my age group, but older, much older, dancing and laughing and sharing was the most beautiful sight I'd seen in a long time. I was warmed to the core with pleasure and delight over the reality that this event made it possible for all of us to go out and enjoy an evening of music and dancing in a safe and comfortable, and fun environment where all of our wrinkles and sags are celebrated for the beautiful history they are. Though I'd initially had reservations about an event for women "over" any age, I now completely understood the premise and was immensely thankful for its existence. I do not discount the love and energy of my younger sisters, we are all goddesses in our own right, but nor can I deny the enchanting alchemy of older women. We truly are like good wine...getting better with time.
When I left there that night I'd not only laid the foundation for a lasting bond with my coworker and her family, I decided I could live and thrive here in Portland; I knew that I would love again and I knew I would come back to enjoy many more Hot Flash dances!
And, alas, I have :)
